ATTUNED COACHING
  • About
    • About Me, Wendy!
    • Why Work With Me
    • Coaching Services
    • FAQ
  • Book Now
  • Blog
  • Tools & Resources
  • Contact
  • Become a #MindsetMaster
  • About
    • About Me, Wendy!
    • Why Work With Me
    • Coaching Services
    • FAQ
  • Book Now
  • Blog
  • Tools & Resources
  • Contact
  • Become a #MindsetMaster
Search by typing & pressing enter

YOUR CART

ATTUNED COACHING

BLOG

1/31/2019 Comments

Snowshoe Into Silence


​Start 2019 off with a deep peace that can be found in the stillness of the beautiful 80-acre Northwoods. Snowshoe across a small wildlife lake, sit amongst the trees, and listen to the winter birds, all in silence. Using a grounded balancing breath practice, we will explore the stillness within ourselves and around ourselves. Afterwards, we’ll take the opportunity to share our experiences with each other over refreshments and nutritious soup.

Why would we want to participate in a snowshoe into silence? Many of us spend our days thinking, moving, doing, judging, and evaluating. Our minds are scattered with a constant barrage of information, which can cause depression, anxiety, and stress. Aside from the almost instant feeling of calm and contentment that accompanies time outdoors, walking in nature and being nurtured by connection with others can alleviate anxiety and stress, improve concentration and focus, and reduce inflammation.

Foster deep well-being and experience the stillness and silence of the woods. Do you need to find some balance and clarity in your life? Join us on our magical 80-acres of sacred beauty. We offer participants a chance to tap into your own inner peace and well-being.
Picture
Picture
Find Out More
Comments

1/31/2019 Comments

Do You Have Bear Energy?

Picture
February is the time for hibernation in bear country, or the Northwoods, but for us humans, we hunker down in winter and call it ‘going within’!

Why would we want to focus on going within and what does that really mean anyways?
​

Going within is a process that helps us direct our awareness and attention down into our bodies, bringing ourselves into the present moment. This exercise allows us to accept whatever is happening in the moment and allow any emotions to surface and be released. Going within encourages us to point the finger toward ourselves and BE the change we wish to see in the world. Any time you are triggered or have a strong reaction to something going on in your life, that is a clue to go within to track where, when, and who your reaction is in transference too.
“The truth will set you free, but first it might piss you off!” - Gloria Steinem ​
Most of us spend a good chunk of our day focusing and pointing a finger outward -- we are always judging and evaluating everything that is going on around as as good, bad, right, or wrong. We act as if we are victims of the lives we live. What if we shifted our focus inward? How would a focused change of going inward instead of outward, affect our everyday life?

Take a minute to FEEL how that shift might feel in your body 
-- no judgements and no critical evaluations. Instead you might have a quiet mind and a feeling of peace, love or joy.  

Have I convinced you to hunker down and start your journey of going within? If so, here are some tools and events that will help you get started. Having a silent breathing practice is they key to start you in the right direction.

1. My free PDF Breathwork Tool will help you practice your breathing, focus inward, and calm your mind down. If you practice enough, it will create a lasting change in your life. It sounds simple, but until you actually take on this mindful practice each day, you will not notice a change!    

2. Check out my recurring event, Snowshoeing into the Silence, located on our beautiful 80-acres retreat, the Northwoods, just 15 minutes outside Traverse City. These snowshoe meditations are from 10:30 am - 12:00 pm on February 10th and 17th. After a silent snowshoe trek around the lake, hot drinks and nutritious soups will be served. And to finish the connection, we will have the opportunity to share our own experiences. If you can’t do a snowshoe with us, just go outside and connect, be silent and do some sort of movement.  

Do you have any other pointers for going within in your life? Leave your suggestions in the comments below! 


Comments

5/30/2018 Comments

Confronting Fear

​What is your biggest fear? Mine is speaking in public or in front of a large group of people.

How do you confront your biggest fear? Well, I confronted my deep fear of public speaking rather unexpectedly just two weekends ago when I was pulled up on stage while attending a conference in Las Vegas. After I walked under the spotlight and grasped the microphone, I looked at the eyes of over 400 attendees staring back at me. But, I quickly realized that these were the eyes of supportive, loving people. And I realized it wasn’t really that scary. (Watch the full video below).

The Backstory

The Power of You (POY) is a 2-month online course with Mel Robbins and her amazing team. She invited the POY class participants to a reunion in Las Vegas so we could get to know each other in-person, share our experiences, and hopefully get answers. At the registration desk, we dropped our names in a hat, which were entered into a drawing for a live, onstage coaching session with Mel. Of the 400 attendees, I was one of 4 names drawn from the hat.

Mel has an Audible series called, Kick Ass with Mel, where she coaches 8 people through habits or issues in their lives that are keeping them stuck. Mel helps each person go beneath the surface level - to the root cause. And this is what she did with me two onstage weekends ago!

From my experience with Mel (see video above), I found that I am fearful of saying words, any words. I fear I will not find the words or that I will not be able to accurately articulate what I mean. I am scared that I will look or sound stupid. I am fearful of being laughed at, or being judged by others. I dread eyes looking at me because I think they might find me lacking, without value. Or, perhaps they will find me ugly. In other words, I am terrified of people thinking that I am a piece of shit (root).
"I am terrified of people thinking that I am a piece of shit." - Wendy Wagoner
But, why? Why do I think these self-degrading thoughts and have these fears? Well, if you’ve watched the video, you know that Mel starts to chip away at this question. Since this experience, I have gone a bit deeper.

I will go all the way back to my early childhood and will reference the Attachment Theory, specifically the avoidant attachment pattern (see box to the right).

​The following stories are from my childhood, and I believe, help explain my fear of public speaking.

Childhood Stories 

Attachment Theory
Avoidant Attachment Pattern


During the first 4-6 months of a baby’s life, the primary caretaker is usually feeding the baby and there is a lot of eye contact. This is a critical time for the baby’s brain to create synaptic patterns and associations. If this attunement with the primary caregiver does not happen, that baby will develop a character pattern that avoids eye contact, or can’t tolerate too much stimulation from eyes staring at them; it feels overwhelming to their nervous system.  
​A quiet childhood
Throughout my upbringing, my mother was not fully attuned (my brother and I were 13 months apart and he had some physical issues that needed special attention) and my father was an alcoholic. While a small child, my dad did not like noise in the house. To receive the love I wanted from him, I had to stay quiet. So, I quietly played in the corner. If I cried, he would often say, “do you want me to give you something to cry about?” Sometimes he did. 

Misbehaving has consequences 
My father would return from work on Fridays (he worked out of town during the week), hoping to come home to peace and quiet. Instead, he was responsible for disciplining us if we had misbehaved in his absence. My father did not want to spank us with the belt. But he did because my mother expected that from him and he was frustrated with the situation. I remember feeling bad for him, and yet at the same time I was upset for being hit. I would cry (because of course it was very painful) and this would only make him more angry. 

Grandma embarrasses us all in church 
Once, when I was 5 years old and my crippled grandmother was staying with us, the neighbor forgot to pick us up for church.  My grandmother found us another ride and we slipped in the side door since mass had already started. While the priest was talking, my grandmother decided to yell across the church at the people that forgot to pick us up. Every eye turned towards us and the judgements flooded in. I wanted to shrivel up into nonexistence. Since that moment, I haven’t walked into a church without worrying about what people thought of me. 

Teasing has consequences 
During my adolescent puberty stages, my brother would come into my bedroom without knocking, and say to me, “boy you’re ugly” or “boy you’re stupid.” And sometimes “you’re so flat chested.” When you are told something often, you start to believe it. Plus, my brother was popular and cool, so I figured he would know. I decided I better stay hidden so people would not tease me like he did. 

Staying small 
I was going into the 4th grade when we moved to a new city. At the new school, the pretty girls pretty much ran the playground; they decided who could play with them on a given day and who couldn’t. As the new girl, I was bullied and told that I was not allowed to play with the poplar girls. This validated my belief that I should stay small in the hopes that I would not be picked on. I never raised my hand in class to read or answer a question. In fact, if we were reading out loud, I would count down the lines so I could practice reading the paragraph before I was called on. I would literally take an “E” in a class before I would get up and speak. I would even get to the end of the bus line over and over again so I could take the last shuttle to junior high school and avoid walking the halls before class.
Ok, you get the point.

I validated this core belief that I was a Piece of Shit throughout my life. I even married a man that was abusive to me for 14 years to prove I was a piece of shit. I stayed small and hidden in many ways. While I have worked on this issue for over 15 years, I still had not stood up in front of a large crowd. And this crowd was big (400 in-person and 1,500 on Facebook Live). But, I felt safe. And I no longer felt like a piece of shit. In fact, I have a voice and value. 

So if you have a fear, any fear, realize that it is never about the thing you thought it was about. If you dig deep and start to pull at the root of it, you too can be free of your deepest fear.

Bonus: I was able to see not only friends, but my family in warm, sunny Las Vegas and then in Los Angeles. Enjoy the pictures!
Comments

    Author

    Wendy Wagoner has explored numerous avenues of disciplines over the last 30 years. She is a professional Awakening Coach, healer, and experienced workshop leader.

    Archives

    May 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    June 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    October 2017
    August 2017
    February 2017
    October 2016
    July 2016

    Categories

    All Aims Attachment Theory Awakening Breathwork Childhood Colombia Connection Death Decluttering Events Fear Flowers Habits In The Moment Love Mindset Nature Peace Self Care Self-Care Travel Wildlife Workshop

    SIGN UP FOR UPDATES

    Sign up to receive new blog posts, wellness tips, and recommendations straight to your inbox every month
    * indicates required

Attuned Coaching

About
​Services
Blog
​Awakening To Presence 

Support

Contact
FAQ
© COPYRIGHT 2015. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.