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1/31/2019 Comments

Do You Have Bear Energy?

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February is the time for hibernation in bear country, or the Northwoods, but for us humans, we hunker down in winter and call it ‘going within’!

Why would we want to focus on going within and what does that really mean anyways?
​
Going within is a process that helps us direct our awareness and attention down into our bodies, bringing ourselves into the present moment. This exercise allows us to accept whatever is happening in the moment and allow any emotions to surface and be released. Going within encourages us to point the finger toward ourselves and BE the change we wish to see in the world. Any time you are triggered or have a strong reaction to something going on in your life, that is a clue to go within to track where, when, and who your reaction is in transference too.
“The truth will set you free, but first it might piss you off!” - Gloria Steinem ​
Most of us spend a good chunk of our day focusing and pointing a finger outward -- we are always judging and evaluating everything that is going on around as as good, bad, right, or wrong. We act as if we are victims of the lives we live. What if we shifted our focus inward? How would a focused change of going inward instead of outward, affect our everyday life?

Take a minute to FEEL how that shift might feel in your body -- no judgements and no critical evaluations. Instead you might have a quiet mind and a feeling of peace, love or joy.  

Have I convinced you to hunker down and start your journey of going within? If so, here are some tools and events that will help you get started. Having a silent breathing practice is they key to start you in the right direction.

1. My free PDF Breathwork Tool will help you practice your breathing, focus inward, and calm your mind down. If you practice enough, it will create a lasting change in your life. It sounds simple, but until you actually take on this mindful practice each day, you will not notice a change!    

2. Check out my recurring event, Snowshoeing into the Silence, located on our beautiful 80-acres retreat, the Northwoods, just 15 minutes outside Traverse City. These snowshoe meditations are from 10:30 am - 12:00 pm on February 10th and 17th. After a silent snowshoe trek around the lake, hot drinks and nutritious soups will be served. And to finish the connection, we will have the opportunity to share our own experiences. If you can’t do a snowshoe with us, just go outside and connect, be silent and do some sort of movement.  

Do you have any other pointers for going within in your life? Leave your suggestions in the comments below! 

Comments

1/3/2019 Comments

AIMS: CREATING A VISION FOR 2019!

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WHAT IS AN AIM?

An AIM is an intention that stems from a curious investigation about your life. It requires turning your attention inward not outward, when you are trying to achieve something.

It is not like setting a goal, which tends to be based on the ego or the future. A true AIM is directed toward truth, no matter what that truth is. The target your AIMING at is NOW, in the present moment.

To set your intention, you must be committed to being present and curious during the investigation.

What is the difference between an aim and a goal?

​The practice of setting goals often comes from a stiff rigidity of judgement and in turn, we tend to beat ourselves up if we don’t get to where we ‘think’ we should be. Further, a goal tends to be ego-driven and is a way for us to seek out more happiness, love, and so forth. 

With goal-setting, we tend to go to our heads or mental place - attempting to will ourselves to achieve the goal. Whereas with aim-setting, we set an intent to become curious and investigate with our whole bodies (not just our head, cognitive level) in the process.

SETTING YOUR AIMS FOR THE YEAR

What are your AIMS for 2019? In other words, what do you want to feel differently about in your life this upcoming year?

​To help you set your AIMS, as well as action steps to help you get there, here is a step by step process:
STEP 1: DO YOU HAVE A BALANCED LIFE?
Allocate a percentage to each of the following 5 categories based on time spent, either on a weekly, monthly, or yearly basis. 

  1. Family / Relationships
  2. Inner Life / Spirituality
  3. Work / Professional Life
  4. Fun / Play
  5. Health / Wellness
Example
  1. Family / Relationships - 20% 
  2. Inner Life / Spirituality - 20%
  3. Work / Professional Life - 30%
  4. Fun / Play - 10%
  5. Health / Wellness - 20%
STEP 2: DETERMINING AIMS & ACTION STEPS
Come up with an AIM and at least one follow-up action step for each of the following categories:

  1. Family / Relationships
  2. Inner Life / Spirituality
  3. Work / Professional Life
  4. Fun / Play
  5. Health / Wellness

Example
CATEGORY: Family / Relationships

​AIM: Be more curious about why I struggle to make true heart contact (i.e. being present in the body and having a fully open heart without withdrawing) with others.

ACTION STEP: My action step is to practice making active contact with my family members on a daily basis (without numbing out on my iPhone or TV during the process). I will practice active listening 1x a day for 15 minute increments, 5x a week.

THE KEY FOR ACTION STEPS

  • The more specific, the better.
  • Start small and work your way up to bigger AIMS as you become more confident with the process.
  • Set your intention to have a curious inquiry. Even if you cannot follow-through with your action steps, be curious as to why you can’t fulfill your promise(s) to yourself.
  • Start a journal about your inquiries so you can check every month to evaluate your effort, progress, and hold yourself accountable.  
  • Find an accountability buddy or hire a coach. 
  • Have a growth mindset. It will take judgment out of the equation.

A C C O U N T A B I L I T Y

It is often easier to hold ourselves accountable to other people rather than ourselves.
When it comes to keeping a promise to ourselves, we struggle.

If you have a hard time keeping a promise to yourself, start an inquiry into this.
Before you can hold yourself accountable, you might need someone else to hold you accountable first.

#MindsetMastersUnite!

SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS:
​DAILY RITUALS

Setting yourself up for success is about having rituals that you implement into your daily life. I feel a daily practice is the key to living a life with purpose. 

Here are some rituals you can integrate into your daily habit routine.
  • Breathing 
  • Time Block 
  • Movement
  • Gratitude
  • Limits
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Be silent as you practice your breathing.

​Benefits:
  • Strengthens productivity
  • Proven to help with health and wellness
  • Helps ground you into the present moment

Tools:
  • www.hearthmath.com
  • The Breathwork Tool Handout
Block off 50 minutes each day to focus on only one thing. After you cross the finish line, reward yourself with a ‘brain break.’ Optional: add mandatory 10 minute breaks where no work is allowed.

​Benefits:
  • The method is backed by research, which shows that time blocks are effective time management tools.​

Tools:
  • Schedule these recurring 50 minute blocks on your phone and set reminders in your automated calendar.
Start small and build exercise and movement into your routine. For example, I'm doing 4 minutes of aerobic exercise 4 times per day. Doing these 4 minute blocks of time is achievable! Remember to be consistent. 

Benefits:
  • ​Good for your brain as it reduces the cortisol (i.e. stress hormone) levels in your system.

Tools:
  • Article: Hearts Get 'Younger,' Even At Middle Age, With Exercise    
  • Check in with yourself before and after each daily practice. Can you feel the difference in your body and nervous system?
A good daily morning ritual is to keep a gratitude journal or to say thank you to one person each day. 

Benefits:
  • Feel more optimistic! 
  • Research shows that giving thanks can make you happier (Harvard).
​Define limits on things that keep you from achieving your AIMS. For two weeks, track how you actually spend your time. You might be shocked to view your time management habits on a daily basis. Now, try to replace those time blocks with more productive activities that help you move toward the life you want to create.​ For daily tasks, like email and social media management, set aside 2-3 blocks of 10 minutes each to check them.

Tools:​​
  • Check the iPhone Screen Time application to see how much time you spend on your mobile phone each day and set limits.

FINAL THOUGHTS

  • Add new success rituals (i.e. habits) one at a time so they stick!
  • We spend more time planning our vacations than we do our day-to-day lives. What do you want your average day to look like?
  • Begin with the end in mind
  • We use a road map/GPS device to find our destination when we do not know where we are going. Why do we think we can meander through life and live a life on purpose? We need to focus, set our intention and take action!
  • Attach a new habit to something you already do to make it easier.
Comments

12/1/2018 Comments

Self-Care: Let' s practice

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Do you think that if you take time for yourself, it’s selfish, rude, or not allowed?

I encourage you to change your perspective on self-care and instead think: ​IF I take time for my well-being, THEN I’m respecting myself. 

Are you struggling to sleep at night or stressing about your work/life balance?
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Do you incorporate any play or fun into your daily life? Or does that just happen on Saturdays?

If you don’t practice self-care, it can have consequences. Self-care reduces the negative effects of stress, help you refocus, and can positively impact your health and relationships. 

If you continue to put yourself last, nothing changes. Nobody is coming to rescue you. I know it's a hard reality to accept, but you are the creator of your daily life. You are the change!

Self respect exercise — time to practice

1) Make a list of 10 activities for your perfect day. Think about activities that will make your heart sing. To get started, check out this website and these suggestions:

  • Do nothing at all.
  • Practice your 5-minute breathing exercises.
  • Drink a glass of water. Add a lemon, maybe.
  • Smell your favorite scent. Try lavender essential oil to relax, a hot mug of peppermint tea for an energy boost, or a flower from your local market.
  • Turn on a song from your high school days and dance!
  • Take a walk around your yard. Observe and ground.
  • Start a jar of sunshine. On a piece of paper, write something that made you happy that day. Open your notes when you need a boost.
  • Head to the spa for a scheduled treatment and practice relaxing!
  • Write down at least five things that make you grateful.
  • Pet your cat or dog.
  • Print out this list of self-care activities and keep it handy for reference if you get stuck.

2) Select each activity from your list and put it in your day planner or calendar for the upcoming month. I personally use Mel Robbin’s 5-Second Journal.

​Do you have a full calendar? Start small and schedule short five-minute activities. If you schedule them in your phone, turn on a sound notification so when it dings, you know to take 5. 

Remember: Be specific. What day, what time, and for how long? If you need to leave the house, how will you get there and what time will you leave your house?
Examples: 

On this Tuesday at 8pm, I will take an epsom salt bath for 30 minutes. 

Next Sunday at 11am, I will go snowshoeing at Empire Bluffs Trail in Empire, Michigan with my dog for an hour and a half. 
Give yourself some self-respect and nurturing this month.

YOU are worth making YOU a habit!

Need an accountability buddy? We are here to support you in the Attuned Coaching private Facebook group, Mindset Masters Unite! Our community comes together to share our daily mindset accomplishments and struggles. Find daily motivation and tips on kicking ass with a Growth Mindset by joining us here! Each day this December, we will be sharing our self-care activities. ​​
Comments

10/31/2018 Comments

CHOOSE YOU | PT. 2

​Fall is here and the nights are getting cooler. 
Signs indicate that you need to harvest the produce before it rots and is no longer edible. 
Consider that you have no other source of food for the winter. ​
Your priority is to harvest your garden.
Now that you’ve started incorporating the first three action steps from Choose You Pt. 1, we are introducing the following four habits that address interdependence (i.e. working with others). 

Reminder: Each of the bolded steps below corresponds with one of S. Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. ​​
4. THINK WIN-WIN: CONNECT
When we plant a garden, we need to consider how ALL the vegetables, herbs, insects and flowers can win and thrive in the garden. We call this combination planting -- how the plants, insects, and animals all interconnect with each other. What plants should go next to each other so they can all win? Can some of the plants have symbiotic relationships with other plants and animals? Perhaps you can leave the broccoli and let it go to flower for the insects to enjoy. It is not just about how you can benefit from this garden, but how everything can benefit from this garden. 
How do we feel internally when we are connecting and feeling supported? Usually pretty good, right?The win-win comes from having a growth mindset that considers how everyone can win. This might be a new concept for some people. Most of us grew up around the idea that there is a winner and a loser. In other words, someone had to win and it was usually our parents. In the past, we might have felt like we needed to collapse, rebel or rationalize (all childhood strategies) or the love would go away. In court, sports, and our everyday relationships, we are programmed to assume that there will be a winner and a loser. Would you consider changing that perception so everyone wins? To fully experience interdependence, we have to be willing to open our hearts to each other and empathize. Adopting a growth mindset will allow us to have more courage and vulnerability. Together, let’s change our perceptions and open our hearts. Let’s make true connections
5. SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD: ACTIVE LISTENING
How do we understand what is happening in the garden if we don’t know anything about the plants, soil, or gardening methods? We must first strive to understand plant varieties and even some soil science. We also need to understand how it all works together and the proper tools to use. How can we listen and take in what our garden is communicating to us through senses?
We will not have strong connections with others unless we first seek to understand them. We can do this by actively practicing listening skills, allowing us to more genuinely understand what the other person is saying. Listening with an open mind facilitates a positive connection with the other person as well as a growth mindset. This is an important skill to continually work on.  Check out my active listening skills handout on how to practice this skill. 
6. SYNERGIZE: GROW UP
There is a synergy of mycelium that interconnects everything under the surface of the soil. This interconnectedness is happening in our bodies too — through fascia. Nothing is separate or functions separately. Just go out and put your hand under the soil and see for yourself!
Now we come together. We find our tribe of people that lift us out of childhood patterns. We stop using our child defenses and act as grown ups — calling each other on our shit. We must learn that acting in our childhood patterns does not serve growth and does not allow others to see who we truly are.  We need to finally realize that as adults, cheerleading each other through our negative, old, painful stories keeps us stuck and feeling bad —  this is not growth. Instead, we need to grow up and finally see that we are NOT our stories. Instead, let's find our true essences, which have been within us all along. 
7. GROWTH: KEEP GOING
When late summer rolls around you might feel burnt out on gardening, but if you remember to plant your fall crops, like spinach, peas and garlic, you will be eating well into the fall — or have garlic to harvest next summer! You have to continually be thinking ahead to sustain your garden’s harvest for as long as you can. Growing is not always easy. But to stay healthy and have the nutrients you need in your body to feel healthy, you need to keep going and growing!
You are now a conscious human BEING. You now know what is meaningful to you and how to integrate it into your new life. It does not stop there, however. Growth is always changing —  just watch your garden grow! Each stage has new growth and each stage needs new tools and actions steps to keep it all functioning at its maximum healthy potential. Keep growing and don’t become fixed in anything.

Wisdom comes from this internal place of knowing that it is NEVER outside of us, it is always WITHIN. Explore, be curious, have a growth mindset, and practice your action steps from the present moment. Ask yourself — who am I taking myself to be? Your orientation is from TRUTH and when you come out of hiding, you stop lying to yourself. Remember, NOBODY is coming to save you, NOBODY BUT YOU! YOU are it! CHOOSE YOU!

READING LIST

7 Habits of Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work, and Team with Positive Energy by Jon Gordon

Comments

10/1/2018 Comments

Choose you | Pt. 1

When the cool nights of fall start pulling at you to get up and move, you know it’s time to pull up the vegetables from your garden.

Eyes wide open to the beauty, nourishment and vastness of the sustenance around you, you pluck, tug and release your vegetables from the soil.

You anticipate what the veggies you planted will taste like and you’re ready to feel the nourishment from the array of vegetables you’ve harvested.

When everything is harvested from the garden and the green growth is gone, you see this new spacious potential for next year’s growth.
​
You have all winter to choose what you want in your garden next spring!
ARE YOU READY TO CHOOSE YOU?
Ask yourself these questions:
Do you procrastinate and end up exhausted trying to meet deadlines?

Do you ever get to the end of the day on Friday and think, “I didn’t do anything for myself this week?"

Do you find no pleasure or joy in your day-to-day chores?

Do you feel as if you’re sometimes just “winging it,” meandering aimlessly through life?
​
Do you ever ask yourself, “Is this all there is to life?”
Here are the first three ACTION steps (i.e. new habits to incorporate into your life) to help you Choose YOU! When you decide to Choose YOU, you decide to no longer allow your life to get away from you. Choosing YOU allows you to step away from the same habitual patterns you've had your whole life. These patterns, based in fear, have held you back from BEING BIG and living from a true place of joy! It is time, no matter how old you are. It is never too late to Choose YOU!

The first three ACTION steps involve moving from dependence to interdependence. Stay tuned for the next four action steps in Pt. 2 of Choose YOU!

Each of the bolded steps below corresponds with one of S. Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. 

1. BE PROACTIVE: CREATE A VISION

If your only source of food is the garden, what is it you want to plant in the spring?
BEing proactive is about grounding in the present moment and being aware of what could happen before it happens. When you are working on a project you collect all your tools you will need before you start. This creates a relaxed state of BEing.

​Finding a space that allows you to carve out inner silence is your very first step. It can be anywhere, just find it. Use this space to go within yourself and explore what is it you truly want for this one life you have.

2. BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND: THINK BIGGER PICTURE

Go ahead, close your eyes and envision what your garden will look like by next fall. What do you see yourself harvesting and eating for the year?
This bigger picture challenge is a fun ACTION step. It allows you to dream without any fear! Anything is possible. Believe that the Universe has your back and there is no lack, just abundance. Putting a plan together is key to moving toward what you want to create for yourself.

Maybe you want to make a vision board? Find magazines (tip: ask your hairdresser or dentist to save you some). Start cutting or tearing out pictures that grab your attention. Don’t overthink it, just feel it - this is a right brain exercise. You can later discard what might not fit.
Create your 2019 Vision Board. 

​Join us at the 

Vision board workshop

Sunday, December 30th 
Grawn, Michigan 
Workshop Details

3. Put first things first: PRIORITIZE

If the broccoli is ready to harvest today but you choose to harvest the onions, which can stay in the ground longer, then you fail to notice and set your priorities.
PictureSteven Covey | 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Envision what your life looks like now. What will matter when you are on your deathbed?

Note: Remember not to skip ahead to this third step without completing the first two. You cannot prioritize what is important to you if you haven’t taken the time to put together a plan of action. 

Break your priorities into 4 categories:
  1. Spiritual / Inner-life
  2. Family / Relationship
  3. Work / Financial
  4. Play / Pleasure

Really explore how much time you spend in each category above to see how balanced your life is. See if you need to add to your vision board after looking at these 4 categories.

How can you find true balance? It doesn’t just magically happen. It takes ACTION to find balance. It involves directing your ATTENTION to the areas of your life that truly matter to YOU! This step allows you to let go of aspects of your life that do not service your well-being.
You can’t only eat cucumbers out of your garden each and every day. You need to find balance so you are getting all the nutrients your body needs to thrive.
As you have complete each action step above, stay on track by continually returning to this simple question:

What do you want your ONE precious life to look like? 

COMING SOON

Choose You, Pt. 2
Blog Post
November 1, 2018
Choose You!
Online Course 
​TBD
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